There’s a drought here in Alabama. The ponds are all but dried up. Some of them already are. I was having a stressful day and decided to go and visit mine. We have an underground spring that feeds our pond so ours is luckier than most but it is still way down. I can’t tell you how many puddles I’ve driven past lately that used to be full size ponds. The Lilly pads are standing in dried dirt in places. It’s a sad thing to see. It’s not a good sign of life. The drought here has affected hay production. No one has what they need to make it through the winter with live stock under the what should be conditions this year but we are forced to start feeding out what we have now because the grass is gone. It’s not a good sign. Cows are being sold cheap because no one wants to feed them for the next few months. Half of the ones going through the sale are skin and bone. Droughts are serious problems. Oddly enough this one has helped me to identify that sometimes we have droughts in life as well. 

Have you ever been so tired you had nothing left to give? Your energy is just completely dried up? Your patience has shriveled up and died? Man, do I know what that feels like. If water is a sign of life then drought is a sure sign of death and certainly if not handed proactively, can cause a big problem. Emotionally, a drought in a person can kill spirit, care, and any desire to do something productive. That’s where I was at yesterday. Even my bones felt dry. I sat on the front porch and cried. 

I’m not where I want to be in life. It seems everything I’d like to accomplish is something I have to wait for. It feels like I’ve been waiting a very very long time. I’d like to have a job that allows me a little more autonomy over my day. I am not so great at being in an office since the last job I was in ended,,,oddly. (That’s for another day). I’m driving a school bus right now which provides health insurance for our family that is good coverage. I’m home during the day to work on school work (I’m an online student at almost 40. God help me). Driving a bus has been a very benecial endeavor. Let me tell you. You won’t pay the bills on what a school bus driver makes in a months time. After paying for health insurance coverage I bring home less than $500 for an entire month. Ladies and gentlemen that ain’t much. 

The kids on that bus have good days and bad days. Most of them are great. We laugh and talk all the way to the school and back. When I’m not having a good day some of the kids in the back sing to me, “The wheels on the bus go round and round”. They sing that because I used to sing to them. It made them squirm and that made me laugh. Now they give it back to me. Not all of my students are so great to ride with.  After getting off the bus Thursday I wanted to quit. A group of eighth graders are wearing me out. I’ve called parents who don’t care. Written them up and they were warned. (Next time off for a day) They are rude and disrespectful. By the time Thursday got here I was so worn out from Statistics online, kids on my bus, my husband has been sick, and I have a child that God is helping me with, and being a mom that I texted my boss and asked for the day off. Told him I needed a break. He’s so great he said enjoy your day out. I said thanks I plan to look for a job. He ahot back with,  “You have a job”. I laughed. Friday I got up and didn’t leave at 5:15 like I usually do. I sat in the kitchen and drank coffee and smiled knowing someone else was cranking up ‘ol Bessy. Later,my special child, I like that name, and I got into an argument and again I felt more drought frying me on the inside. It was time to fill my cup. I called my mom. 

She was glad to see me of course but when I got there it was very obvious that she was very sick. Her fever shot up and she was shivering so bad. She couldn’t walk straight without almost falling over. I loaded her up and took off for a doctor. Primed sent us to the emergency room. We sat in the ER where she shivered so hard it looked like a seizure but since she had a fever they wouldn’t let her have a blanket, just a sheet. Do you love your mama? I LOVE mine and seeing her like that did me in. They wouldn’t give her a blanket but I certainly could do something so I crawled in bed beside her and wrapped her in my arms. It only took a minute. The shivers stopped. 

I couldn’t leave her in that bed or she shook like a leaf so I became a vine wrapped around her. She was laughing thinking the nurses would complain. I just smiled and assured her they were NOT going to move me. She giggled and snuggled in. My cup over flowed. 

I am an all or nothing kind of person. My mother constantly tries to get me to slow down. I run at everything I do as fast and as hard as I can. “Do it with all thy might” is ever present in my mind. Unfortunately there are times that my well runs dry. Thursday was that day. Not the job I want, wait. Not finished with school yet, wait. My truck needs replacing, wait. My house is trashed from kids and dogs, wait. Chris isn’t feeling well, wait. Cook dinner. Wash the laundry. Wash the dishes. Work on homework. Listen to tears. Manage teenagers. Mom! She won’t stay out of my stuff! Mom can I go…Mom can I have…hey honey what’s for dinner….pray and wait. You get the idea. By Thursday I was dry as dust on the inside. 

Can I make an observation here? I have no intentions of this being a religious blog but can we talk about water for one second? Isn’t it amazing that in a drought we see the need for water? How much life it brings? Is it any wonder God would use something so important to help us understand His benefit in our lives? John 14:4 says if we drink of His water we will never thirst again. Isn’t that awesome?! Now, what’s that old saying about leading a mule to water? Yeah, I’m having an epiphany here. 

Unfortunately, my frustrations that dried up my spirit were depriving me of peace. I was mad. Mad that so much is going on and it felt like no one around was helping or cared. I even said out loud that I was not mad at God but in a way that doesn’t look true. If I have faith that He will help me then why am I stressing over the timing or the where? I’m working this morning to remind myself that He is all over it and I need to quit stressing so much. Use what you have. Ok, I’ll pour another quart of oil in the truck, water the flowers with a hose, and pray while I wait. Doesn’t mean my eyes are not open for the answer to those prayers! Also doesn’t mean I won’t get tired of waiting. I’m just singing “while I’m waiting” As I do. 

I’m not an oasis today but it’s better. There’s nothing like spending four hours wrapped around your mom to refresh your soul.